The drawer is getting full
I still don’t really know what a friend is. I’ve rebooted and restarted over countless times. I have a lot on my mind and a lot of past friendships that have just been shoved in a drawer and locked away whether it was by choice or not.
I’m sort of in this strange limbo in life. The best thing I have going for me is my girlfriend, and that does mean something. At the moment it means everything.
I’m always afraid of the future because I’ve had so much taken from me. A lot of attention from people I got from majority of people would many times be the same attention a jester got though — a fool more so that one could poke at.
Memories of friends I had flood in from time to time out of the blue. It isn’t often at all, but … it’s strange. It’s just strange how repeatedly for many years at a time you have friends, schools, jobs and people in general you know and in a flash it’s gone and you are forced to act like it never happened. Suddenly you are reborn again.
Too many times it’s happened, and I think it’s all starting to stress me out. Not many people follow me on here, so this is probably more for me. At a time, I blogged constantly on Myspace because not everybody’s dog, nun and mother followed me there.
Ah well. Just a spot to vent. If I don’t, I keep it all inside and a lot of times this is the only way I know how to collect my thoughts because God knows I have a hard enough time collecting me thoughts outside of this virtual box.
